bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
