I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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