I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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