its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
