I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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