this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
