I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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