Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
my liver is dry heaving
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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