i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
