Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
