Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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