I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
