Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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