Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
