She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him