I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
