I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
