I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
