google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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