i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
