I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
