Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
