Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize