and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
