I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
