Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
