HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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