i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
