i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
