Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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