So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
