It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
