i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We're too hungover to prance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
