Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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