They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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