His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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