I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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