Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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