I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
