i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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