I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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