i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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