Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
