i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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