You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
