thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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