some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
