Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
