everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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