I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
