U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
