My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize