is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
