quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
