Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
