I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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