Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
