I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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