I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
