New invention idea: vibrating tampons
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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